How to tell if you’re 36 weeks pregnant…

(…other than the conventional way: the big tummy out front.)

* Your five year old asks your three year old to share her biscuit and as you prepare to intervene she snaps it in half and gives him half saying, "sure, here you are." Cue: teary pregnant lady.

* Your beloved one innocently flicks through a newspaper while talking to you and you have an inexplicable meltdown regarding your importance and priority. 

* You bend down to try on a pair of boots (new boots, woohoo!) and find that you can't. Thankfully cool Newtown shoegirl bends down and hands boots to you and directs you to a chair, ensuring a sale.

* Any quite large tattoo you may have of frolicking medieval peasants on your lower back is now a tad larger. And frolicking peasants who were in a straight line now look a little on the turps due to new hips. (Am blaming the easy icecream and all the variations – honey and roast almond tonight – I just HAVE to try out.)

* Just about everyone you meet assumes you're about to give birth any second. Because seriously, you look like you are.

* You're cleaning (a singularly unusual personal experience) and folding baby clothes. And staring at the newborn nappies like they belong on a doll, not a baby. 

* You have a labour bag (even if all it has in it are mini Snickers and mini Bounty bars – for Adam.)

* You're talking to your neighbour and sister in law and friends in the area about the middle of the night I'm-in-labour-can-you-come-and-watch-the-kids-before-Mum-gets-here plans. 

* You are actually very excited to meet a new little person who will always be your youngest, who'll inevitably upset the applecart, who'll make us five, not four, and who you really just hope your husband doesn't name after a piece of Swedish furniture. (Did I mention that I agreed Adam could name the baby?)


7 Comments on “How to tell if you’re 36 weeks pregnant…

June 3, 2010 at 10:06 pm

I am also still available to name the baby.

Just in case you had forgotten.

How exciting!! Nearly here!!

June 4, 2010 at 9:41 am

few, i can relax now… im definately NOT pregnant then 😉

June 4, 2010 at 12:49 pm

What, you don’t think Poang Walmsley rolls off the tongue?
So excited that you are soon going to be five!

June 4, 2010 at 1:31 pm

Woah.. you are letting your other half name the baby! You are a much braver woman than I!

And now I am thinking perhaps I am not really pregnant after all as I don’t have a bag packed, no one assumes I am about to give birth, cleaning is as alien as it’s ever been and I haven’t even thought about getting the nappies out yet… oh but that emotional roller-coaster, yep I’m on that, and the bend in the middle thing… nope ain’t gonna happen.. so I must be preggers after all! LOL

green ink
June 4, 2010 at 9:27 pm

Aww hun! Sounds like a huge gauntlet of emotions at the moment. Had to laugh at the medieval tattoo thing! My cousin has a dolphin tatt on her stomach and joked that the dolphin became a whale during her pregnancy 😛

How cool that Adam gets to pick the name!! Do you have any clue or is he leaving it as a surprise?

How exciting, not long now xx

June 7, 2010 at 3:40 pm

smiling 🙂

June 9, 2010 at 9:26 am

Ah, how did he manage to win naming rights? 🙂 Do you still get to veto?


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