[Declaration: I am not actually schizophrenic, although from this post it may appear otherwise.]

Anyone see Jacinta Tynan's piece in the Sun Herald's Sunday Life Magazine? "The Big Easy" or with subtext: this motherhood thing is all a bit of a lark.

Please read it and tell me what you think. Because I am all over the place with it.

I read it and my first reaction was intense irritation at her smug message that being a happy mother is all about choice. Then I caught myself and thought – that's kinda true. I'm glad she's happy. I'm glad she's enjoying the ride.

Then I thought about it some more and found myself goaded about the fact she has one child who is nine months old and she sports a glamorous newsreader job and obviously has childcare, surely going on about how easy motherhood is is a tad premature?

At least come back to us in two years time and update us?

Then I remembered those lovely cruisy early months where it was all cups of tea and Big Love for my little person and high energy levels. When I held back from going on to Adam about what a glorious day we'd had at home because he'd been at work all day while we played.

Then I swung back to annoyed at her slightly blinkered middle-classness, (an easy target and a rabbit hole I fall down myself all the time.)

I have been unsettled since reading this article a couple of weeks ago. A fabulous read but I couldn't shake the feeling there was a happiness vacuum or black hole in there.

I'm having fun. I think you're having fun. And it's not in some sad, deluded or compromised way.

Mostly I just feel really lucky.

If a little tired. And all over the place.

Was there ever a time when I could write a coherent post?!

xxx