pants down the best way to discourage doorstop religion


{from this funny dude. Disclaimer: his website has a tendency to be terribly naughty}

Don't get me wrong, I consider myself a spiritual person. 

And while I don't have any Mormon pals I do have Jehovah's Witnesses friends (well, OK, one,) and as long as I don't ask her children to my children's birthday parties or talk too much about Christmas we're really all good. 

So I'm very polite to men in pressed shirts and ties who knock on my door on Saturday mornings. Particularly as I like to model polite behaviour for my children and on this Saturday morning in particular, last Saturday, the kids opened the door in birthday mode expecting friends and gifts. 

A solo JW this time. A man, mid 60s. 

The kids invited him in of course, at the same time I was trying to close the wire screen door.

I was still in my jarmies, Adam had insisted on me answering the door as he was in a robe. My (short) robe. A marvellous way for me to admire his legs but not really for public display.

The kids talked a mile a minute, explaining it was Tilly's birthday, did he have a gift for her?

The man tried very hard to give Tilly a 'tract' which I politely refused (I accepted once and had repeat visits for a month until I told them yes I had read it and no I didn't wish to discuss it further with them. Deep breath.)

The conversation went on and on, the man trying to talk to me about Jesus, the kids trying to tell him about the party, Adam emitting amused giggles from the next room.

Finally, and I'll never know why, Henry dropped his pants. His pyjama pants, with nothing underneath.

Utterly horrified at the inappropriateness I leapt to yank them back up, not as fast as poor JW man spun away and bolted to my front gate, blurting over his shoulder for us to have a nice day but he really must be going.

We'll find our spirituality in other ways, shall we Henry?

Good plan.


12 Comments on “pants down the best way to discourage doorstop religion

Alex Nolan
January 11, 2010 at 10:29 pm

Brilliant work Henry! Perhaps you could educate my children in the same way!


Natalie Pulsford
January 11, 2010 at 11:26 pm

The cartoon reminds me of a couple of Christmases ago when I was trying to explain to my 3 year old son about baby Jesus. He thought I was talking about Babybel Cheeses……….

Congrats on the pregnancy by the way. Hope it all goes well.

Alex Nolan
January 12, 2010 at 12:16 am

Hilarious, Natalie – my son started school and was coming home once a week talking about Bread and Gorge. Had no idea what he was talking about until one day he said: ‘Bread and Gorge told us all about Jesus’ friends….’ It was only then, that I realised he was meaning Reverend Broad!

And don’t even get me started on the nativity…. too many stories to tell – makes me laugh just thinking about them – Edward, 3, was a Power Ranger King in the nativity this year – he wouldn’t wear anything but a PR costume, and his (very tall, 4 yr old) friend said that she wanted to be the baby Jesus! x

International Woman of Mystery
January 12, 2010 at 12:18 am

Ha ha ha haaaaa. Really, I am laughing out loud. That’s even better than Tilly standing at the front door yelling “Help”! Too funny. xo

January 12, 2010 at 10:55 am

ROFL… and I thought moving to the country was the best way to get rid of random door knockers!

January 12, 2010 at 11:55 am

my son Dom came home from kindy one day proud as punch that he had learnt all about St Patrick

‘he took the Good News to Ireland’, Dom kindly informed me.

‘oh really’, i replied, ‘so what was the Good News?’

‘oh i don’t know, they didn’t tell us that…’

January 12, 2010 at 2:22 pm

That’s hilarious, thanks Natalie. And thanks, yes I hope it goes well from here! cheers,

~ Fiona

January 12, 2010 at 2:24 pm

The good news about cheeses, obviously. Really, I could be 8.


January 12, 2010 at 4:13 pm

Oh how funny! I love it!….and I’ll have to remember that one, the mormons visit the farm far more often than we would like!

January 12, 2010 at 4:59 pm

His exit would have been much quicker if Henry and Tilly really did answer the door in “birthday mode” … i.e. in their birthday suits!

January 14, 2010 at 2:40 pm

This is where I pull out my “I’m Jewish” card. Stops them in their tracks!

September 17, 2012 at 1:58 pm



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