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when the wheels fall off

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Not sure when it was, exactly.

Maybe when I got back into the car today to run an errand, wondered what the funny smell was, realized it was all my groceries, sitting in the car for how long? Maybe two hours? I'd carried the baby inside, asleep, and got busy doing other things. Excellent. Not many dairy products in those bags at all. 

Was it yesterday morning, when I was madly flinging through the clothes mountain (my friend Catriona's term) looking for a clean school uniform. Swearing to myself. Because it was only school photo day. And I didn't appear to have any clean shirts for the boy. (Found one. Lucky.)

Or, also yesterday, catching up with an old school friend and I realised I had not even looked in a mirror before leaving the house. I don't mean this figuratively in any way. And I'm not kidding. Didn't even look. I might have had fungus on an eyebrow for all I knew. 

Hear that rolling noise? ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding: that's a wheel rolling down my driveway. 

Is it when you open the door of the washing machine and almost trip over backwards. Stinkarooney, says Tilly. Well that's where all the damn school shirts are then.

Is it forgetting to take the bin out, and getting that massive rush of dread, particularly when they're only collected fortnightly, can I make it? Rushing down the drive dragging a big green sulo with one arm, holding a baby with the other, trying not to tip it over on the cattle grid. Looking down in horror realising there's a good chance I might not even be dressed. Undies on. That'll do. 

I learnt today, as a lovely friend shared her story of discovering a liquified sushi roll in her handbag, that wheel-falling-off stories are better shared. 

Skidding on the recycling spilling out all over the kitchen floor isn't at all funny on my own. Sharing it with you is. 

Please join in. 

(Unless everything runs perfectly at your place, in which case what the heck are you doing reading this blog?)

xxx

29 Comments on “when the wheels fall off

Catriona
March 15, 2011 at 10:58 pm

ok – wheels falling off confessions from today – I was handed a note from school today that was due back on the 18th Feb (4 weeks ago), the chickens are unfed today, and there is a layer of sand sitting under the unpacked bags from the trip to the beach last week. And there is clothes behemoth mountain on the couch where small children will get swallowed and lost by the gang of unmatched socks. Hang in there – does it really matter?

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International Woman of Mystery
March 15, 2011 at 11:19 pm

Love it! I left the groceries in the boot OVERNIGHT a couple of weeks ago. But hey, it’s Winter. We still ate that enormous turkey leg…amongst other things.

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Renee
March 15, 2011 at 11:23 pm

Oh my 🙂 I love this space. I so look forward to it. I feel so normal. We have a clothes mountain and a kitchen nightmare amongst other things. Thanks for sharing. Brilliant

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Nin
March 15, 2011 at 11:39 pm

The tone was set for the day as I careened down the drive way, when a quick glance in the rear view mirror highlighted purpose for the mad dash standing at front door, horrified! Note to self, when attempting timely school drop off try to have school kid in the car!!! “Mumma, why did you forget me”, “Darling I didnt forget you, the boys and I were just driving down to get the mail”. Truly, a little white lie is ok to prevent traumatising my new school boy, isn’t it???!!!!!!

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Cath
March 16, 2011 at 2:47 am

Love it, love it. My best was putting the veggies in the bin and taking the trash on holiday in the cooler box.

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Darren (Green Change)
March 16, 2011 at 7:54 am

Oh man, our wheels are rarely on! 🙂

I can certainly relate to clothes mountains, and the desperate search for a clean school uniform in the mornings.

My most recent goof was making an awesome bread-and-butter pudding out of leftover donuts (from the Berry donut van – the best!), and using salt instead of sugar. That first mouthful was a very unexpected experience – it was awful, but I couldn’t register for a moment what was happening! It really hurt to scrape it into the bin – it was bread-and-butter pudding, MADE OUT OF DONUTS! It should have been incredible :-(.

At least I didn’t do the classic follow-up goof and feed it to the chickens. Someone else I know did that with a salty cake, and wiped out their whole flock. Salt kills chickens.

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jodi
March 16, 2011 at 8:37 am

so comforted to know I’m not the only one! No doubt it will get worse when there’s two little ones in my wake. Phew.

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Sarah
March 16, 2011 at 8:58 am

Love this post. Goodness, the wheels fall off DAILY for me. Lately I seem to be on a losing streak – lost keys, lost sunglasses but worst of all, on Sat we lost our son. Yes, he just took off and, after almost calling the cops, we found him back at home, having ridden his little bike a couple of kms and over two busy roads (gulp).

I also got in the shower one tired morning thinking ‘something’s not right’ … before I realised I’d got in wearing my glasses.

Am also a good one for doing the absentminded stuff like putting veggie scraps in the freezer and frozen peas in the bin.

Oh yeah, I know about wheels falling off.

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Kathie
March 16, 2011 at 9:09 am

Hillarious! I regularly spray the deo in the hair, the hairspray under the armpits – must get ones that are not the same colour! I think I’m really chic, wearing my wedges on outings with the kids – have now had 2 marvellously scabbed over knees thanks to missing a step awkwardly. Such an attractive look for a 37 yr old! I have 4 kids, and regularly try to remember to not leave them behind or in the wrong place – the littlest is used to roaming KMART calling out for me …… *sigh*.

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Angie
March 16, 2011 at 10:12 am

Yep – a daily occurrence here! Wondering what is that smell? Oh – the potty hasn’t been emptied for a while…Yuck! Opening the washing machine to find a smelly load is so common here, then I wash it again, and sometimes even again when it gets forgotten for the second time. And, really, with 4 kiddos, washing a load three times isn’t smart, there’s always so much to do.

It’s just impossible to keep the wheels on for the most part. I am sometimes (frequently) embarrassed by the state of our outside area – piles of cardboard boxes that should be recycled, sit, waiting patiently to be torn up. Things that are too large for the bin, wistfully wait for curbside pick-up, which may not happen til November…Beach bag, complete with wet towels (which will now have to be washed), old cheese sangers and a truckload of sand waits, and waits…

Right, must be time for a cup of tea, wheels can stay off for another few hours…days…weeks…

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Tess
March 16, 2011 at 10:24 am

Is one supposed to look in the mirror every day? Who has time for that?

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lily boot
March 16, 2011 at 10:52 am

we call the stinkarooney washing pot plant clothes. Sometimes I feel organised enough to wash them again – other times, I just hope the sunshine will whisk away a bit of the pot plant odour. Mind you – when you iron them …. potty fresh! I’ve done that with the grociers – chicken breast in Brisbane during summer. Very very nasty. And it’s amazing how long I can tolerate the dog’s shredded leaves, sticks and general garden debris scattered from one end of the hallway to another. I think we must develop an amazing strength for this when we become mums 🙂 Breeds us endlessly tolerant!

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Ericademiri
March 16, 2011 at 12:23 pm

Love it!! Made me laugh – glad I’m not the only one. Currently covered in Avocado and strawberry juice, looking at the bench covered with dishes and wondering about the floor….

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Claudine
March 16, 2011 at 12:46 pm

I totally love this post — and the comments are fantastic!

Around here I sometimes wonder if we even have wheels to fall off! 🙂 So good to know that we all have those days that we can’t even believe!

But the wise advice my mother has always given me: Have a hot cup of tea and go to bed, things will always look better in the morning!

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sweetpotatoclaire
March 16, 2011 at 2:02 pm

I like the way you think, Tess~ cute.

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innerpickle
March 16, 2011 at 2:18 pm

overnight?!? you win.

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innerpickle
March 16, 2011 at 2:19 pm

Oh Renee. You know I’ve been thinking of giving up recently, I love inner pickle but sometimes I wonder why I write it. Maybe I’d be better off putting my energy into something else. And then I get a comment like this, and you’ll keep me going for another year. I love this space too, and I’m SO GLAD you actually look forward to it. Amazing.

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innerpickle
March 16, 2011 at 2:20 pm

OK that is hilarious. You wally.

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innerpickle
March 16, 2011 at 2:21 pm

ahhh, Berry donut van. AWESOME. Yep, that should’ve been a cracker of a pudding, how desperately disappointing! Good tip about the salt, I did not know that.

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innerpickle
March 16, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Milk, no sugar, for me. Meet you at the coffee table.

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innerpickle
March 16, 2011 at 2:23 pm

Truly, where would we be without tea? Lesser women, that’s what we’d be.

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SB
March 16, 2011 at 2:26 pm

Left just one bag of groceries in the car somehow. Yes, it was the bag with all the meat. Yes, it was summer. Yes, for 3 days I blamed my stinky boys. By then it was so very bad. Oh, oh dear!

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JenK
March 16, 2011 at 8:10 pm

I looked down and had odd crocs on in the supermarket. Very stylish!
Thanks for the chicken tip. I didn’t know I could oversalt them.

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Mel Vallel
March 16, 2011 at 8:53 pm

I have many wheels that need patching and mountains of stuff. I have the dreaded paper mountain. Piles of bills taken out of envelopes and stacked somewhere (we have about 3 piles that are increasing rapidly) I don’t have the big tribe of kids, only the one very soon to be 5 year old who usually with a minimum of fuss is dragged out of bed and dressed whilst still half asleep at 6am every day and dropped at childcare by 645am every weekday, he has arrived with 2 different shoes more than once. Lucky i wear a uniform that requires no thinking or looking in the mirror (might need to on occasion when i learn i have buttons missing or toothpaste on my shirt) Its all so normal. And Fi i have absolute withdrawals when you take any time away from innerpickle. Many times it is the high light of my day. xxxxxx

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Amanda
March 16, 2011 at 8:54 pm

Yesterday I took a photo of my massive pile of ready-to-be-folded laundry. It was covering an entire lounge, including cushions and at least 2 laundry baskets were barely visible amongst the clothes.

Very impressive.

So I will gladly join you, fellow traveller, in the barely-keeping-the-wheels-on sisterhood of mums with food stained clothes and love-full hearts.

Who needs a tidy house anyway? I’d rather hug my kids than wash up ANY DAY!!

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Cassandra
March 17, 2011 at 7:56 am

Where did those wheels go? hahaha. This week I discovered a small mountain of unopened letters in the bottom of the pram from the past two months. Oops, did I do that? A cake baked with sugar, ummm no, that was salt. Leaving the house without locking the front door. Leaving the house without checking self in mirror, too often. The old days: finding baby vomit in hair, in public. These days: finding flung baby mash in hair, eyebrows, anywhere infact. Leaving the house whilest wearing my slippers!
PS. I did go back and change before actually reaching the main street.

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Leigh @ Toasted
March 18, 2011 at 4:29 pm

Great post – reminds me to laugh at myself (I forget sometimes.) Umm… let me think, what particular story should I confess? Is it how I lost two sets of keys in two days? And then found one set after my man sawed the very difficult lock off our bike. Or how about the time I finally put all the frozen bits of meat scraps from the previous year or so in the bin and then forget to put the bin out so it could sit there and rot for another week? Hmm… no, I know; how about the time I found a week-old poo-ey cloth nappy that I’d tied up in a plastic bag and left in my bag till we got home. Yeah – that one. I can’t even laugh about that one. Actually, this is my favourite; I cheerily let my friend in the front door after walking past my naked man to answer it. Yep – there my friend stood in our lounge room, in between my fellah and his bedroom full of clothes. Aaah. Shee-it. Oh – and please don’t stop blogging. Some of us read when we haven’t time to – let alone comment. x

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Julie
March 19, 2011 at 11:25 pm

Just came across your blog via Soulemama and this post in particular struck a chord. I don’t even think of it as wheels coming off anymore – it’s just daily life. It would be very sad if you stopped blogging just when I’ve discovered you. And looks like lots of other people feel that way too.

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twitter.com/Hearmumroar
March 21, 2011 at 10:29 pm

Oh, I have no idea what you mean at all. Because nothing like that EVER happens to me, I swear…

That wasn’t me at the local village fair consoling my son because his preschooler’s running race got cancelled, after I’d got him all pumped up to enter it. I would never be in a position where I’d only leave myself five bucks spending money to entertain said children at the fair…

I would NEVER wander around the local village fair on a ‘relaxing’ Sunday, unable to walk a straight line because my period decided to come that day, and staying upright is an achievement to be proud of. Oh no, I schedule my period far better than that. In fact, I’m so organised, I’m not sure I even get periods these days..

And no, my son certainly did not vomit all over the kitchen floor at breakfast this morning. My lounge setting is perfectly intact, with no stains on it, if you heard about the mother with a a two seater lounge that has one cushion fine,and the other half eaten by silly puppies, you were wrong to think they were talking about me. That sort of stuff never happens here.

And I certainly don’t wake up most mornings to find the stuffing from said lounge strewn all across the lounge room floor, or the carpet pulled up out of the floor boards by the dogs. That’s craaazy talk! Who told you that was me? No way…

IN MY DREAMS!! ((HUG)) sorry to hear your wheels fell off. I’m so glad we’re not the only ones with these moments

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